I’m back to work this week. Who’d of funked it? Almost 9 weeks off and physically my health is almost back to where it was. I say almost because there is still a little pain and I still get easily exhausted after simple activities but things, things are better. And they’re improving day by day. So lets catch up.
We are a little more then half way through the year and so far its been pretty challenging. There have been highs, lows and endless hours of Netflix. My mental health took a battering after surgery. Even maybe before hand to some degree.
Recovering from major surgery isn’t easy. It actually really fucking difficult.
It is not just the physical healing, thats difficult. Your body just kind of does that on its own.
Slowly wounds heal and the pain no longer takes your breath away or makes you cry. It just fixes its self slowly and steadily.
Your mental health, now that’s different. There were a few days that I thought I would never feel better.
Pre Op there were days that I thought I was losing it. It felt like no Doctor believed that I had a problem or was experiencing the level of pain I was (many didn’t, that was until I saw the liver team, but thats for another time). There were days that I didn’t eat properly for fear of returning pain and nights that I was awake for hours on end. That all took a toll. It was bound to.
Post Op was a different game completely. 5 days in hospital was difficult. Been a patient sucks, it really sucks. Coming home after surgery helps. But this is difficult in a different sense, you’re no longer in the safety zone of a hospital. At home your physical wounds start to heal but it leaves you drained and exhausted.
Me, I’m not a person that can sit at home for days on end. If I take annual leave from work, it’s not to watch tv and have a life admin day. It’s for going out exploring, visiting new places and generally doing something new and exciting. Under no circumstances is it to sit an watch endless hours of tv or films.
This is where sick leave caught up with me. After 5 days in hospital, 2 weeks on the sofa where the most exciting part of my week was going to the supermarket. I found that I was getting increasingly frustrated.
I wasn’t able to drive, leave the house alone or do everyday tasks. Cabin Fever? (Not having an official name for how I was feeling). I didn’t even see anyone about it. I just knew it would pass, but all I knew was that I felt different. Not myself. Week 2 post op, was spent napping and I didn’t feel like really leaving the house as the pain level was fairly high.
Now week 3 and 4, this is where I started to feel well enough that I wanted to do more but my body wouldn’t let me. The pain killer brain fog was subsiding and even though I started to feel mentally ready, physically I wasn’t able to do things I could just a matter of weeks before surgery.
Lets jump forward a few weeks. 6 weeks post op I was happily driving short distances which meant a coffee shop stops. The freedom of been able to leave the house and suddenly I felt like my old self again. No longer stuck with only Netflix for company.
Here I am, 9 weeks after a Liver Resection, on a phased return to work. Something I never thought I would be having to do. It’s funny how the unexpected can catch you off guard. Everything keeps moving even though you seem to stop. Eventually though you start to slowly catch up with movement of the world around you. I may not be at full speed yet but I am picking up speed both physically and mentally.
Peace out lovelies!
